Saw a girl walking the mall today who was actually wearing a sash, like the kind that I thought only existed on TV and in parades and that would vanish if taken out of those artificial contexts. When she turned around I could see that the sash said "Miss Teen Kentucky." What would Miss Teen Kentucky have been doing at a suburban Chicago mall? Weirdest of all was that she seemed to be alone, looking into the window of a store. It seemed wrong that she would be wearing the sash over civilian clothes rather than an evening gown or something.

Then it turned out she wasn't alone--she was with her mother.